Mary talks about how to leave a co-dependent relationship, emphasizing that it may be the only way to break the cycle of abuse and addiction often accompanying the worst of co-dependence.

Mary introduces the simple first steps of breaking the chains of co-dependence. She guides the listener through the very basic things that must be done so one can gain back their sense of self-worth, and begin to set themselves free of someone else’s pain, or someone else’s control, or someone else’s abuse.

In this podcast, Mary talks about the “darker side of co-dependence” and how damaging it is to all of our relationships when we are entirely focused on rescuing and enabling an alcoholic, a drug addict, a gambler or a sex addict. Mary helps the listener to assess his/her own relationships if you are living with or helping to hide, the addiction of a friend or family member.

Mary begins a four-part series on Co-Dependence and how it negatively affects our relationships. In Part One, Mary begins by asking: “What is co-dependence?”. She takes the listener through a dialogue that describes the telltale signs of whether or not your relationships are co-dependent.

In this podcast, a listener asks the question, “Now that I’m married what do I do when my values are against divorce? I am ridiculously unhappy.” Mary agrees with the listener they are probably between a rock and a hard place, yet she gives valuable education on what questions the listener needs to ask herself, if she “wants” to stay ridiculously unhappy.

Building on the dialogue of podcast 31, Mary brings together the skills of knowing ones “spiritual values” and what to do when they collide with other’s spiritual values. A listener asks what to do when someone is pushing them to go to church.

A listener asks Mary about her relationship with God, and how to be effective in relationships when others use God against them. God being the reason they are rejected, de-valued and hurt over and over for “sinning.” Mary’s responses to this question are worthwhile and very inspiring.

Mary responds to a listener’s problem working with a very critical boss who does not know how to give effective feedback, leaving his employees feeling judged and de-valued. Her response is challenging, as she walks through the problem of working with or living with. people who do not have the skills to be helpful in developing strong relationships.

Mary focuses on the toughest part of the feedback skill by teaching the listener how to receive feedback without becoming defensive or lashing out, even when the feedback hurts us. As Mary stresses, feedback is a very complex skill that needs a lot of practice. Accepting others feedback often leads to a defensive reaction that hurts relationships and prevents further understanding. In this podcast, the listener is given the tools to work with so relationships can get stronger and grow.

Mary continues to teach the skill of feedback, teaching how to describe behaviours, NOT ask WHY, while giving examples of how to effectively make ourselves understood. In this podcast, Mary emphasizes that when giving feedback it is so important to leave the door open for dialogue so our relationships can get stronger, and we can create greater understanding with our friend, partner, child, business associate or colleague.

In this Podcast, Mary introduces one of the most complex skills we all need to learn to have healthy relationships. As she says, “feedback is one of the most difficult skills to master, and there are many layers to learn in order for one to be effective in giving and receiving feedback.” Feedback is NOT criticism; Mary gives very important insight into the differences between feedback and criticism.

In response to a listener’s question about how to get along with family, when old grudges, criticisms and general malaise get in the way of really experiencing a celebratory day. Mary offers some solutions on how to cope with “family,” and how to make the day/event better for everyone.

Mary answers a listeners question on how to make for a good Christmas season when there is no family to celebrate – after a time of family break up. Mary gives information on how to create new traditions while explaining the importance of traditions in creating a sense of “belonging” and meeting a very important need in ourselves – to feel we belong and matter.

Mary teaches the importance for each of us to daily let others know, in detail, what they “do” that supports us, and leaves us feeling cared for and valued. She points out that our failure to give this very important information often results in the listener not knowing his/her needs.

In this Podcast, Mary gives listeners more insight into their anger and how Values Based Conflicts can disrupt relationships so significantly they become too difficult to bear.

In Podcast 21, Mary taught that Values guide our choices. She continues to offer skill development in how to be effective working with other’s values, while maintaining your own. You are encouraged to take a closer look at your individual values, and Mary brings many examples of the decisions you make that are influenced by your values.

A listener asks, “you talked about how values can guide us in having effective communication and creating understanding, please explain this in more depth.” Mary goes into considerable detail on how values affect our decision-making, and offers listeners the opportunity to talk to her personally about assessing and evaluating their own values.

Building on the skill-set Mary taught previously, this podcast is about responding to someone else’s anger. How to be effective, and more importantly, Mary talks about how to set boundaries and guidelines so anger does not become abusive, asking the listener to define his/her own values around abuse and settling for second best.

In response to a listener’s question, Mary teaches about Anger as a secondary emotion. She gives questions to ask when you feel anger, and some skills to use to be effective in communicating when you are angry.

Mary helps a listener work through the family problem of two siblings who have become estranged from each other and the fall-out from this estrangement. Mary teaches that in our relationships every relationship is separate from any other relationship we have.

Mary continues her discussion of the grieving process reminding listeners that grief is both emotional AND physical. She focuses on the communication skills we need to develop to minimize the hurt we tend to “spread around” in our own grieving process.

In this Podcast, Mary speaks about the very recent loss of her mother. She relates her own recent loss to how grieving affects relationships around us. She introduces the 5-step grief process and opens the door to some discussion on how we hurt each other as we cope with our own internal grieving process.

Mary walks the listener through the many considerations one must have when trying to solve someone else’s sad feelings. Reminding us we cannot “make anyone” feel better; however, we can be a good friend, or sister, by simply “being” with someone while they sort out their own feelings.

Mary teaches how to close a relationship, stating “Closing a relationship is putting a book on our memory shelf.”

For all of us there are times in life when we need to “end” a relationship. All too often we let it dribble away, or we simply abandon someone we cared about, because we don’t know how to “close” a concluding relationship.

Having learned to express our feelings with “I feel___________” statements, Mary teaches the next step in being effective in making ourselves understood by listening to the other persons feelings, as well as being more effective in labeling our own.

Mary continues her discussion of recovery, her journey and what she has to offer others in theirs. Mary also teaches people how to express their feelings with “I feel ____________” statements, in order to be effective when relating to others.

At the request of a listener, Mary speaks more about her recovery journey focusing on what she had to learn to accomplish STEP ONE of her 12-step program. Mary holds back nothing and really challenges anyone who is in a recovery program.

How many of us have neighbours or family whose children are constantly acting out?  As a result, we are desperate to “teach” them how to be better parents.  Mary’s answer is very challenging to this listener’s question.  Will she take up Mary’s challenge?

A listener writes in that she has a very difficult relationship with her sister.  Mary’s answer to her question is very thought provoking and reveals a surprisingly insightful answer to a problem many of us struggle with.

A listener has asked, “how is knowing myself going to help me solve my problems?”. Mary has a terrific response to this question and one to help us all be more effective in our relationships.

Mary explains that the foundation to every relationship is ourselves, and what we bring to our relationships.  Do you know what to ask yourself to find out what you bring to your relationships? 

How do you evaluate your daily accomplishments? Mary teaches us how to ask ourselves, “What is working?” and the reason this question is so powerful in relating to our teens.

When asking questions in Relationships, we want to ask “effective” questions.  Do you know what the most effective word is in a question?

Do you ask others “why” they did this or that?  Mary answers the “why” question by explaining how much trouble this one question can cause in relationships.

Mary follows up with more information of how she overcame adversity in her life, including being human trafficked.

Mary introduces herself and her intentions for I’m Mary. I Solve People Problems.